❆ Fennelpaw ❆

❆ Fennelpaw ❆

• personality •

• appearance •

A rather small, ashy grey highlander cat with curled ears, a bobbed tail, and dark stripey-like markings. Has long, white ear tufts and olive eyes. Distinctively, there are two long face tufts that drape in front of their large, lion-mane chest. They are very worryingly thin, but with the assistance of BoarClan has been eating better lately. Tends to carry a bit of a scowl when nobody's looking, but out of respect for others and not wanting to make anyone uncomfortable they try to appear friendly enough.

They are named 'Fennel-' at their own request. They said this upon happening on some wild fennel flowers:

"Someone close to me," Fennelpaw said quietly, with profound sadness in their eyes, "once told me that yellow was a very happy color. Thus, it was their favorite, despite how disgustingly ugly it looks. I think... if I were to be reminded of that color every time my name is mentioned, then th-that would be good. For me."

• More in-depth Description •

Not all heroes wear capes. Fennelpaw tells lies and mauls people.
Well, not legitimately, but. Life for them has barely just begun, but Fennelpaw is already done with the world's shit to care quite as much anymore. They're truly the hero nobody wanted, but nevertheless the one people deserve.

There's a certain swagger to the way that Fennelpaw carries themselves, with a smile filled with mirth creasing their lips and eyes full of careful apathy. A careful lack of vulnerability in their guise. The faintest edge of smug arrogance that coats them like a second skin. Fennelpaw acts as if they think that they're superior to everyone around them. That is true. There is also nobody else in this world that Fennelpaw hates more than themselves. That is also true.

It's not as if Fennelpaw is so disillusioned that they can't see the irony in the situation. Fennelpaw is all walls and defenses; a carefully constructed bastion that shelters them in any situation from getting hurt. They put so much effort into pretending that nothing bothers them, that they don't care for anything at all, yet no one in this world simultaneously cares and doesn't care as much as Fennelpaw does. Fennelpaw worries, makes sure that others are warm and eat enough, and chides people for not taking care of themselves. Fennelpaw ignores their problems, pretends that they're not afraid, and detaches themselves from making connections. And all, for what? The crippling fear of being known?

Fennelpaw, in all nuances, is kind of a gigantic mess, although it's not quite apparent outwardly. They're a well-structured and rational individual, although it's their inner workings and the reasonings behind their actions that are a bit odd.

• Backstory •

Sunshine splays on their paws, the low, creaking sound of a tree overhead as wind gently ruffles their fur. A gust of wind rivets a portion of Lu’s chest fur into their face and they lazily smooth it back down again, only for it to rebound and attack them again with new fervor. It’s a hilarious sight. Vivi laughs brightly in the background, a sweet sound playing accompiant to their ears.

Tenderly, like a full heart, Vivi overlaps her paw over theirs and smiles. It’s one full of mirth and joy, and Lu manages a weak one in return. “Hey, hey.” she purrs, staring up at the intermingling brambles shifting above. The grass softly stirs as she speaks, lulling to a stop as she pauses.

“Yeah?” Lu responds breathily, not even bothering to look over. They know that she’s listening.

There’s a pause at first, unsaid words lingering in the air, some uncertainty of what to say next. Then, she takes a deep breath.

“Thanks, Lu. Just for sticking by me.”

Lu laughs quietly, pouring every ounce of joy that they can into that sound, despite the growing dark pit of guilt that claws at their chest.

“Of course. Always, Vivi.”

. . .


“Mama, it’s cold outside.”

Blearily, a larger pale brown cat with downy, soft feather-like fur blinks open her pale blue eyes, staring down at her firstborn child.

“Wuh?” she mumbles, reaching up with a dainty paw to rub at her lidded eyes. She looks exhausted, shadows under her eyes and weariness dripping off every portion of her body, but she manages a half-smile for her child. It’s not quite kind, roughened after moons of turmoil dealing with them at her expense, but it’s the best she can manage for now. Lu knows that, too. “Well, what do you want Mama to do about it? I can’t control the weather, dear.”

Lu shakes their head softly, their bottom lip emerging in a pout. They scuttle over to their mother’s size and manically nuzzle her arm, fervent until she finally lifts it enough for them to slide right under. Their mother’s presence is comforting and warm, and Lu lets out a loud purr.

“So troublesome.” she tuts, sighing and readjusting her position into something more comfortable, now accounting for the kit under their arm. She frowns at them, and after a moment’s hesitation, gently brushes their fur with a paw. “Aren’t you too old to be chasing after Mama still?”

Lu is three moons old, and so is their sister, Vivi. Outside the snow pelters the mountainside that they live on, causing the wind to howl fiercer than usual. The barren trees shake, rattling against the wind. Usually, Lu sleeps in their own corner, separate from the rest of their family, but today they crave the familiarity of their mother.

“I was cold.” Lu lies, even though they’ve survived even colder weather alone before. They feel a stab of guilt at the thought of being so clingy, but it quickly fades. They latch onto her paw and nuzzle it fiercely, and Mama sighs once more at the new leech that she’s acquired.

“Alright. Just for tonight.”

She settles down now, stretching a leg that slightly jostles Vivi, who mumbles a string of incoherent words as she snores. Vivi quickly falls back to peaceful slumber, a drooly smile gracing her face.

Lu is peaceful for a few moments, watching as the snow’s torrential downfall gradually lifts into something more calm and gentle. The noise of the wind has softened too, and really, they should be going back to their own nest to sleep. They gently reprieve themselves of the security of Mama’s arms, but she’s already asleep. Gently, they stand on their tippy toes and give their mother a quick smooch, muttering a quiet “I love you.” Lu nuzzles her pelt and does the same for their sister, gingerly as to not disturb her rest.

They stare at the snow for one last time, and then they return to their nest and lets the warmth of familial love lull them to rest one more time.

. . .

Vivi is by their side as they clomp up the snowy hillside, shivering with her whole body. Vivi has always been a bit sickly, and Lu worries that she won’t survive with all the snow. She grins brightly though as she walks, ever the little ball of sunshine that she is, eager to live life to its fullest capacities.

Mama is gone right now, as she always is, working or whatever. There’s not too much prey in the area, and Mama has to travel far away to catch anything good. She’ll come back in a day or two to provide them with prey Lu wants to travel with her, but they can’t just yet. Who would look after Vivi if they weren’t there? When she gets better, Mama promised that they’ll all travel to where the prey is better, but for now it’s not safe to move just yet. So, until Vivi gets better, it’s their job to protect her.

Vivi bounces across the snowy expanse to a large fallen oak covered in snow, and instantly crawls into it on all fours like a little happy gecko. She’s excitable as always, and today’s a better day for her. She has the energy to go out today! Lu trails after her with some anxiety in their frame, with a furrowed eyebrow as they try to secretly keep an eye inside of the log. They have to keep it a secret, because Vivi hates it when they look out too much for her.

A small, skinny paw darts out and Lu jumps, surprised. Vivi must have seen, because there’s a little chattering sound of a bright laugh.

“Pspspspsp!!” she giggles, and tentatively, Lu inches closer.

“What?” they say with pure confusion, lowering their head to look inside the barrel of the tree.

“That means come over here, Lulu!” Vivi chimes back, and oh, there she is. She shuffles on backward, happy little bobbed tail perked up, leaving enough space for Lu to scamper on in. “Come on in, legend!”

Looking like the queen of her own castle, Vivi reclines on the inside of the bark. It’s still a little wet and mouldy inside, and Lu can’t help but point that out. Vivi’s nose scrunches at this.

“Oh, so you’re one of those people, huh, Lulu?” she teases, getting up from her reclining position to bap them on the nose.

Lu scrunches their nose in much the same fashion their sister did, looking confused once again, an altogether unfortunately usual expression for them. “What!? What does that even mean?” they bark back, and Vivi laughs once again.

“It means that you’re annoying.”

“I’m not annoying! You’re the annoying one--”

“No.” she returns smoothly, grinning. She scoots on over and bumps them a little bit, making Lu wince at the contact. She doesn’t seem to notice though, still smiling sweetly. “Can’t refute that logic, huh, buddy?”

Lu isn’t necessarily keen to reply, but Vivi takes that as a que to continue. “You know, one day I’m going to live in a gigantic, wonderful house. Not just, you know, the cave.” The cave they were living in, she meant. “Like, a super mega big one. You can live there too, and so will Mama, and it’ll be a super awesome giant house where we can all be happy, together. This is just the start, Lulu, but.”

Gently from inside the log, she reaches over and overlaps her paw with theirs. She’s shaking, and it’s definitely too cold and musty in this log for her to stay anymore, but she’s smiling. “We’ll all be happy and safe together there, Lulu. I promise it!”

. . .

[ TW: Eating + Wounds/Prey Violence ]
In-between the times that Mama is gone, Lu and Vivi must fend for themselves. Sometimes Mama leaves prey for them so they can rest a little easier while she’s gone, but for the most part it’s time for Lu to hunt. Vivi is still too fragile to go outside, where the possibility of her spraining an ankle or getting an injury is too high. Mostly she just stays inside the cave and waits, where it’s terribly lonely. Lu always tries not to leave for too long, but Vivi’s brave and always tells them not to worry after her. It’s not like they can stop doing that on command either, though.

Snow is cold and numbing, but eventually you can get used to the fact that it’s just. Cold. Hunting is hard, the hardest thing that they’ve ever had to learn to do, but it’s not like they can afford to be bad at it. Or well, they can be, but. The outcome won’t be as pretty. Lu fails a couple of times and tries to get better, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.

Pouncing is hard, and at first, Lu doesn’t get it at all. The first prey that they catch they absolutely maul, crushing it, and it’s. It’s bad. They spend the rest of the day painstakingly burrowing through snow and into cold, coarse dirt to prepare a burial. They drop the body in unceremoniously and cover it, in respect to wasted life that could not be salvaged.

They hold more burials until they get better.

There are days when they return home with only two mice, and they have to calculate whether it’ll be enough to last them until Mama comes home. A mouse a day definitely isn’t enough, but it’s what they have for now. And sometimes they’ll need to save in advance, in case it’s too cold to go out tomorrow. Or maybe they’ll have to go out in the cold anyways, because they need to eat.

Or, rather. Vivi needs to eat, because she’s sick, and she needs to eat in order to get strong, to get better faster.

Very often, Lu will smile kindly and hand Vivi their share for the day. They’ll laugh and say that they’ve eaten already, willing their stomach to quieten and distance itself from the all-engrossing pain of starvation.

It hurts, and sometimes Lu thinks that Vivi knows what they’re doing. But they stay and make sure that she eats, so that she can stay strong. Lu’s strong enough to wait until tomorrow. There’s no choice but that.
[ End TW ]

. . .

It’s late and quiet, the day when Lu leaves. For once it’s not snowing, and the vivid purple-black hues of the night sky that peeks out between the drifting clouds dotting the sky are beautiful.

Vivi is nestled against Mama as she always is, happily snoring away with no worries in the world. Their Mother only ever looks at peace when she’s asleep, the stress evaporating from her body that really showcases the youth of her age. She’s sprawled out indelicately, her head resting neatly on her paws.

It’s an underestimate to say that Lu’s been planning this for a long time. It was only a matter of waiting, truthfully, until the right moment. There’s only so long one can live without eventually realizing that they are a burden, and well. Lu’s old and mature enough by now to know that they can’t always entertain the fantasies in their head of what life could be like. They’re old enough now to know that they can’t always have what they want.

With only one child to care for, there’ll be that much less burden on their mother. And. Let it be known that they’re doing this out of love. They’re leaving because they have to, and not because anyone’s forcing them to. They want this. They want an easier life for their family. It’ll be just the two of them now, but Vivi’s stronger now. She doesn’t need them to survive any longer.

Who knows where they’ll go after this. Maybe someplace different, where it’s warmer. Or maybe to where there’s more water, where the fish live.

It’s getting colder now, and the wind stirs. It’s time to go.

“I love you.” Lu whispers, quiet. Patiently they wait, stirring, longing and full of conflicted emotions. They sit, expectantly, and. As expected, there’s no response.

Lu stands and makes to leave. They take one glance back, burning this memory into their retinas. And then they leave, gone without a trace.

• Extras •

Fennelpaw sleeps with their eyes open, sometimes. Not that they do it intentionally to spook others out, but... Fennelpaw's favorite thing is to just pretend that they're asleep and then say something out of the blue at midnight or something. Like, it's late, the apprentice den is stock-silent, and another apprentice is returning home from a late sparring exercise. And then out of nowhere a voice says... "Welcome home, Ivorypaw." or something. Fennelpaw is really fond of goofs, truthfully, as well as dunking on people.


Fennelpaw has chronic pain. They don't really deal with it in the healthiest of manners? they're very "ayyy lmao" about it while physically they feel like they’re tumbling down a cliffside

Fennelpaw, despite being quite short, is a very fast runner because they're constantly running from all their problems

In front of those older than them, Fennelpaw tends to become overly-polite. It comes more from a place of genuineness to those they're indebted to (potential parental figures or cats of authority), but in general Fennelpaw will address senior cats with polite honorifics. This comes from the fact that they feel incredibly indebted to BoarClan for being taken in in the first place, and so they seek to prove that they are an upstarting member of the community. Although to cats their age they're definitely more of a little shit. They kind of thrive off of making older cats think that they're very respectable while causing all sorts of storms for the other apprentices their age.

So long as they're not annoying, Fennelpaw is genuinely weak towards kits. They have a bad habit of swearing, though. They'll often ashamedly slap a paw over their muzzle if they utter a bad word in the presence of a kit, and then abashedly apologize afterwards for it.

Credit for Fennelpaw's icon is the photo "Highlander Kitten" by Marit Welker Photography.

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